Sadness as a Companion

Today is Good Friday, the day we remember the crucifixion of Jesus. I've never understood why we call it good. It seems like a very sad day to me. This newly published book could be used throughout the year in your ministry or at your home or school, particularly when a sad event occurs and affects many. In American culture, we run from sadness. Today I want to feature this intriguing book that teaches us to acknowledge and befriend sadness. We might even need to invite sadness to stay for a while.

Picture Book: When Sadness is at Your Door
Authors  & Illustrator: Eva Eland
Summary: Striking illustrations of sadness personified are found immediately in the inside covers to begin and end Eland's book.

Sadness enters a child's home unexpectedly. At first the child is unsure and puzzled.

Sadness follows and seems to need comfort in a way that is uncomfortable and even scary.

Hiding it doesn't work,

because in some sense you've become sadness yourself.

Perhaps it is best to face it, name it, and listen. Ask it what it needs. It's okay if you don't understand or can't help it just now.

You might have to simply be a companion 

or sadness might just need time and beauty

and welcoming attention.

Someday it will be gone and you will have a new day.

Hanna’s Comments: During my 2 year Academy for Spiritual Formation, a book was assigned in which personification of personal issues - everything from emotions to addictions - was explained as a powerful tool for spiritual growth and healing. The question, "What does it need?" was crucial. Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love speaks of such personification in a delightful TED talk and writes about it in her book on creativity Big Magic. I have experienced such healing myself. Social science has long said that emotional literacy is crucial for emotional development. Our places of worship and families of faith are important environments for this kind of learning and healing to occur, but they must be safe, trustworthy places. 
When might this book be appropriate? 

When a much-loved member or teacher dies

When a national tragedy occurs as in Paris this week

When a pastor struggles with clinical depression or terminal illness

When many in your church are near the end of their lives

When a global church makes a decision that shuts-out many

When much has been lost across a congregation as in a major change or disaster

When your client or spiritual directee is stuck and needing a creative invitation

When Good Friday is not really so good

Demystifying sadness can be a gift to your children and all members of your classroom or congregation if handled delicately and respectfully, with no judgement or impatience. Don't view this as a way to get over sadness but as a way to companion it and be mindful of it. Find personal connections in the loss, fear, and confusion. Offer hints of hope. For this book, I would simply read it and then listen. Some gentle questions and art supplies might be good to have handy too.

Original Publisher & Date: Random House, 2019

Age & Grade Appropriateness: 3 and up, Pre and up

Formats other than Book: Tablet

Scripture Connections: There are many Bible stories that have elements of sadness besides those we hear in anticipation of Good Friday. Consider the sadness that must have been felt by Ruth, the friends of Tabitha/Dorcas, David at the death of Jonathan, and Martha, Mary, and Jesus upon Lazarus' death. Sparingly use scriptures about hope such as I am making all things new (Revelation 21:5) since this is a book about sadness being acknowledged and respected in the present.

Idea(s) for Application: Besides the ideas mentioned above, read this book to a group of children when learning about God's presence when we are sad. 

More Books for Lent & Easter

Today I’m adding to last Friday's post with lists of PBT books I've featured more recently. Like before, I'll give you hyperlinks via the book titles. Books for younger children are first in each list. Keep in mind that some books could be in several lists. 

Remember these books may not directly relate to the themes I've listed. Instead, many books are starting points. Your job will be to steer your audience to the themes you most want to explore. For more explanation of these particular liturgical events, read my previous post.

Ash Wednesday and Lent in General

On this day, we remember Jesus' time in the wilderness being tempted by evil. Lent in general is a time of being inspired by Jesus' devotion and humility. Prayer and repentance are other important themes. These books will help you talk about these difficult subjects:

It's Okay to Make Mistakes

Spuds

We Found a Hat

Flossie the Fox

The Want Monsters

With You All the Way

Because I Love You

The Fisherwoman

Wind-Wild Dog

These books could lead to a conversation about refraining from distractions or waiting with hope for Easter:

Owl Moon

Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse

Snow by Usher

These are books about prayer:

You Are With Me
Thank You Prayer
Pray to God (in series listed at end of post)
Give Me Grace
Psalms for Young Children
This is What I Pray Today
The Quiet Book
How Do I Pray for Grandpa?
Now
Sylvester and the Magic Pebble
The Day the Crayons Quit
Before Morning

Palm Sunday

Palm Sunday is a celebration of the hope that Jesus brings and abounds with praise that he deserves. In this list are books about both of these concepts:     
About Hope:
God's Dream                                      

The Little Engine That Could
Can I Be Your Dog?
Chocolate's Dream
He's Got the Whole World
Come On Rain!
Come with Me
Jessica's Box
One Day
The Water Princess
A Child's Garden

About Praise:

Psalms for Young Children                         

Sing, Sing a Song
All of Me
Baby Wren and the Great Gift
One Love
For the Beauty of the Earth                   

The Upper Room (Maundy Thursday)

Here we have the first communion ritual (bread, wine, and a call to remember) and Jesus washing his disciples’ feet (a call to service).
These books connect with at least one of these themes: 

    How to Heal a Broken Wing
Bear Feels Sick
Miss Maple's Seeds
The Catawampus Cat
Lilla's Sunflowers
Aunt Mary's Rose
I Have An Olive Tree
Knots on a Counting Rope
What Do You Do with a Problem?
The Wall
Sadako
Flowers for Sarajevo
The Tsunami Quilt
An Angel for Solomon Singer

Good Friday

Connect these picture books with the story of Jesus on the cross because they are either about the concepts of sacrifice, forgiveness, death or grief:
The Rainbow Fish

I Will Love You Anyway

Curious George and the Pizza Party

Three Bears in a Boat

Miss Fannie's Hat

Life Without Nico 

The Story of Ruby Bridges

Crazy Horse's Vision

Easter

The pivotal event of the Christian faith is a celebration of joy, beauty, divine power, possibility, and transformation. At least one of these themes are connected to these picture books:                                     

God Gave Us Easter (in series listed at end of post)
All in a Day
Let the Whole Earth Sing Praise
Planting a Rainbow
Love Matters Most
The Stars Will Shine
Alfie
Turtle Spring
God's Great Love for You
A Bus Called Heaven
Bring Me a Rock
The Night Gardener
All You Ever Need
Eight Days: A Story of Haiti    

PBT Favorite Posts #7

In celebration of my 700 PBT post (!!!) and the start of February (the month of love), I give you a favorite PBT post. It is a tribute and sort of memorial to my favorite picture book author, Amy Krause Rosenthal. You may recall her NY Times article You May Want to Marry My Husband. Since AKR's death, a TED talk by her husband has had over a million views. It is such a loving tribute to a woman who lived well and an honest testament to the heartbreak of terminal illness and grief. Check it out [here]. And now, that favorite post... 

Last Friday, I posted a tribute to author Amy Krouse Rosenthal after reading that she had a terminal illness. Sadly, AKR died on Monday (3/13/17). [Here’s] an obituary that gives you the breadth of her great work. Below is a post about her most recent publication. I've heard more original works will be published posthumously. I’m glad and very thankful for her life and her work.

Picture Book: That’s Me Loving You

Author: Amy Krouse Rosenthal

Illustrator: Teagan White 

Summary: Each page of this gorgeous book explains how a particular child might find additional meaning in particular experiences of nature. A shimmering star is "me winking at you."

A drifting cloud is "me thinking of you."

The ocean is "me waving at you."

And even a clap of thunder is "me raving about you."

Even insect encounters are given new meaning. A persistent mosquito is "me bugging you"

and a butterfly, "that's me hugging you."

All these nature experiences are moments of transcendence 

and moments of love in the absence of someone who is missed.

Hanna’s Comments: Check out AKR's 1.5 minute short film [Today is a Gift]. Similar sentiments under-gird this book. Knowing the plight of AKR, her words here have bittersweet meaning. She dedicates the book to her 3 children and others who are obviously close to her. Mother love has been featured as a sort of parallel to God's love in other PBT posts. Here are links to 2: the ever-present love found in The Runaway Bunny and the unconditional love found in I Love You Stinky, Face. The kind of love that is expressed in today's PBT book can also be a parallel to God’s unfathomable love and ever-presence. In the United Methodist Church, we hear about prevenient grace, a wooing sort of love that is holy and wonderfully prevenient (anticipatory and constant). Like the mother's love in this book, it is found in God’s generous creation. Find more PBT books that connect to prevenient grace [here]. Children are not too young to hear such an usual word. With their magical thinking, they get that love can transcend time and place. They can find comfort in knowing that God’s presence (and that of an absent parent) can be found in creation in all sorts of ways through acts of contemplation and simply through beauty. Thanks be to God!

Original Publisher & Date: Random House, 2016

Age & Grade Appropriateness: 3 and up, Pre and up

Formats other than Book: Tablet

Scripture Connections: My presence will go with you (Exodus 33:14); In your presence there is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11); Where can I go from your Spirit? Where shall I flee from your presence? … (Psalm 139:7); I (Jesus) am with you always (Matthew 28:20)
Idea(s) for Application: Read this book to a group of children who are learning about how God’s loving presence is with us and can be particularly meaningful when experiencing God’s creation.

PBT Redux #25 – Our Tree Named Steve

Here's one of my favorite books from that first year of PBT when I featured a book a day. If for adults, just read it and hear them make easy connections to scripture and their personal spirituality. If for children or teens, you might need to coax a little. Like many of the other 364 PBT books that year, this book is full of inspiring illustrations. These are especially funny!

Picture Book: Our Tree Named Steve
Author: Alan Zweibel 
Illustrator: David Catrow 
Summary: A father writes his children a letter in which he celebrates all the gifts that have been given to them by Steve, the large, unusual tree near their home. Steve (how the youngest child said "tree") has become an important part of their family history: playmate, shelter, place of important milestones. Dad explains that the tree was knocked down by a storm but has been transformed into a tree house in another tree in their yard and will continue to nurture & protect them. 
Hanna’s Comments: This comical tale has such rich symbolic undercurrents and is full of potential for ties to scripture and spiritual transformation. You'll easily elicit conversations about important elements of family life such as play, ritual, protection, & sacrifice. Tie these to all that is holy at church and in nature. Allusions to Jesus' sacrifice are here as well as Steve as a symbol of God who is ever-present, ever-nurturing, and ever-loving.
Publisher & Date of Publication: Puffin, 2005
Age and Grade Appropriateness: 5 and up, K and up
Formats other than Book: None at present
Scripture Connections: God’s presence with us, giving us rest (Exodus 33:14), God’s plans for our welfare & future (Jeremiah 29:11), Jesus’ sacrifice (John 3:16), I am with you always (Matthew 28:20); Zacchaeus in the tree (Luke 19:1-10); Like the father here, Paul wrote letters to convey the meaning of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. 
Idea(s) for Application: Consider reading this book at an Arbor Day Celebration, a faith family festival, a family reunion, or in a church Sunday school class during Lent. 

9/11 Anniversaries

Because of today’s 15^th anniversary of the tragic 9/11 events, I’m exploring how picture books might be used at such a time. I’m offering 2 very different examples of the many picture books that have been published to commemorate and remember that horrible day. I recently went to a library where there was a featured shelf with about 12 books about those historical events. You’ll find even more books about 9/11 for sale on-line.

Some of you might think that such a dark subject has no positive purpose in your faith family. Here are some hypothetical contexts in which talking about 9/11 with children or teens in a faith context might be a good idea:

1.      Your faith family is located in the geographical regions most affected by 9/11 so your children are often exposed to anniversary events and comments.

2.     Your church likes for children’s programming to be connected to sermon series. An upcoming series will be on remembering 9/11 events and its consequences.

3.     You want to teach important historical events to children in a homeschool or private school setting and want to explore theological/faith aspects of that day and its repercussions.

4.    You are teaching a series on how our faith influences perseverance. The events of 9/11 will offer much in the way of conversation for the tweens and teens in your faith family.

5.     You want to explore the concept of generosity by using the fabulous picture book 14 Cows for America [PBT post here], a book about a Kenyan community’s response to 9/11. You think some 9/11 background information would be helpful.

from America is Under Attack by Don Brown

Be sure to choose your books with sensitivity to your audience’s ability to understand the events and handle the emotional content. Pay close attention to illustrations or photos to ensure that they are appropriate.

Picture Book: America is Under Attack

Author & Illustrator: Don Brown

Summary: This picture book moves chronologically through the day, recalling what happened to all 4 planes, the rescuers, and witnesses with sensitive illustrations that are honest but not sensational. The stories of real people are shared and their words are used.

Hanna’s Comments:  An award winner, this book is perfect if you want to present a lot of the story, but you don’t want to expose your audience to actual photos of those horrific events. Because there is so much content, you might want to read it over 2 sessions. In the back you’ll find the Author’s Note and a bibliography. This book is one in a nonfiction series called Actual Times.

Original Publisher & Date: Roaring Brook Press, 2011

Age & Grade Appropriateness: 6 and up, 1^st and up

Formats other than Book: Tablet

Scripture Connections:  The Lord is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18); teach us to count our days (Psalm 90:12); in the world you will have tribulation… (John 16:33); help the weak (Acts 20:35)

Picture Book: September Roses

Author & Illustrator: Jeanette Winter

Summary: This is a true story written after the author saw an arrangement of roses representing the 2 towers soon after the 9/11 events. Two sisters from South Africa fly to New York City to attend a flower show. With them they have packed 2400 roses and their hopes of success. Upon arrival in NYC, the events of 9/11 are in process. Stranded in the airport with their roses and nowhere to go, a man offers to take them in and suggests the perfect place for their roses. 

He takes them downtown to artistically add their roses to the memorials that are quickly being placed. 

Hanna’s Comments: This is a very different sort of 9/11 book, it’s short and the events of 9/11 are adjacent to the story. It highlights the vast influence of 9/11 events on bystanders. Here you have opportunities to explore the spiritual practices of hospitality, empathy, and artistry adapted to difficult circumstances. 

Factual details are in the back that you should share, especially since their hosts were actually a faith community, the First United Methodist Church of Flushing, NY. This is a very small book; having multiple copies of the book might make sense.

Original Publisher & Date: Frances Foster Book, 2004

Age & Grade Appropriateness: 7 and up, 2^nd and up

Formats other than Book: None at present

Scripture Connections: Whatever is true, … whatever is lovely, think about these things (Philippians 4:8); do not forget to show hospitality to strangers (Hebrews 13:2)

Absence, Comfort, and Connection

Picture Book: Life Without Nico

Author: Andrea Maturana

Illustrator: Francisco Javier Olea

Summary: Niko and Maia are best friends who are often together having fun.

Even when they aren’t together, they seem connected. There is surprise and a big adjustment following the announcement that Niko’s family is moving to Australia. When it’s time to say goodbye, Nico gives Maia a globe ornament to remember him. 

Maia's sorrow is beautifully expressed and her grief is given space:

Now time passes slowly,

and the emptiness follows Maia

everywhere she goes.

It’s boring. She can’t play with it,

and it won’t let other children near.

Maia is sad at first, but healing comes little by little, particularly when she discovers a kitten, 

makes a new friend at school, and explores a new passion playing the piano. 

On the day of Nico’s return, Maia worries that her new life is too full for him to have room, but when they are reunited, Maia understands that Nico has always been with her. 

Time and distance has not changed that.

Hanna’s Comments: This is a simple story, but it has such depth and is beautifully told and rendered via the illustrations. Recent events in my church family have reminded me how important it is to help children process their feelings about sudden goodbyes, no matter the circumstances. This story, unlike some about loss, offers a return. When such separations are painful, it is very valuable to offer lessons to children about the comfort God can give, hope that strengthens us, and how human connections can endure, especially when those lessons are grounded in faith or scripture.  

Publisher (in English) & Date: Kids Can Press, 2016

Age & Grade Appropriateness: 4 and up, Pre and up

Formats other than Book: Tablet

Scripture Connections: Relate this story to any Bible story where someone who is loved has to say goodbye. If hope for a reunion is evident all the better. This works well with the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection or ascension and return.
Idea(s) for Application: Read this book to a group of children who are feeling a loss or the absence of a friend or key figure in your faith family. Relate the return of Niko to concepts of hope and/or eternal life.