Sadness as a Companion

Today is Good Friday, the day we remember the crucifixion of Jesus. I've never understood why we call it good. It seems like a very sad day to me. This newly published book could be used throughout the year in your ministry or at your home or school, particularly when a sad event occurs and affects many. In American culture, we run from sadness. Today I want to feature this intriguing book that teaches us to acknowledge and befriend sadness. We might even need to invite sadness to stay for a while.

Picture Book: When Sadness is at Your Door
Authors  & Illustrator: Eva Eland
Summary: Striking illustrations of sadness personified are found immediately in the inside covers to begin and end Eland's book.

Sadness enters a child's home unexpectedly. At first the child is unsure and puzzled.

Sadness follows and seems to need comfort in a way that is uncomfortable and even scary.

Hiding it doesn't work,

because in some sense you've become sadness yourself.

Perhaps it is best to face it, name it, and listen. Ask it what it needs. It's okay if you don't understand or can't help it just now.

You might have to simply be a companion 

or sadness might just need time and beauty

and welcoming attention.

Someday it will be gone and you will have a new day.

Hanna’s Comments: During my 2 year Academy for Spiritual Formation, a book was assigned in which personification of personal issues - everything from emotions to addictions - was explained as a powerful tool for spiritual growth and healing. The question, "What does it need?" was crucial. Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love speaks of such personification in a delightful TED talk and writes about it in her book on creativity Big Magic. I have experienced such healing myself. Social science has long said that emotional literacy is crucial for emotional development. Our places of worship and families of faith are important environments for this kind of learning and healing to occur, but they must be safe, trustworthy places. 
When might this book be appropriate? 

When a much-loved member or teacher dies

When a national tragedy occurs as in Paris this week

When a pastor struggles with clinical depression or terminal illness

When many in your church are near the end of their lives

When a global church makes a decision that shuts-out many

When much has been lost across a congregation as in a major change or disaster

When your client or spiritual directee is stuck and needing a creative invitation

When Good Friday is not really so good

Demystifying sadness can be a gift to your children and all members of your classroom or congregation if handled delicately and respectfully, with no judgement or impatience. Don't view this as a way to get over sadness but as a way to companion it and be mindful of it. Find personal connections in the loss, fear, and confusion. Offer hints of hope. For this book, I would simply read it and then listen. Some gentle questions and art supplies might be good to have handy too.

Original Publisher & Date: Random House, 2019

Age & Grade Appropriateness: 3 and up, Pre and up

Formats other than Book: Tablet

Scripture Connections: There are many Bible stories that have elements of sadness besides those we hear in anticipation of Good Friday. Consider the sadness that must have been felt by Ruth, the friends of Tabitha/Dorcas, David at the death of Jonathan, and Martha, Mary, and Jesus upon Lazarus' death. Sparingly use scriptures about hope such as I am making all things new (Revelation 21:5) since this is a book about sadness being acknowledged and respected in the present.

Idea(s) for Application: Besides the ideas mentioned above, read this book to a group of children when learning about God's presence when we are sad. 

A Picture Book a Day for a Year: Day 316

Picture Book: Pete’s a Pizza

Author & Illustrator: William Steig

Summary: Pete is disappointed that it’s raining because he was looking forward to playing baseball with his friends. His father sees his disappointment and decides to lovingly distract Pete by making him into a pizza. When Pete’s father picks him up and places him on a table, Pete remains straight as a board (or a pizza pan). Obviously, the two have played this pretend game before! Pete’s father pretends through the various stages of pizza-making with Pete playing the part of the silent dough. Pete is kneaded, and substitute ingredients (paper shreds for cheese) are placed on him. Pete’s mother plays along in silence. Pete’s ticklishness leads to a quick break from character, but mostly he remains still, silent, and pizza-like. After being placed in the oven (on the couch) and then hand-sliced into pieces, the pizza gets up and runs way. The pizza maker chases the pizza until it is captured and hugged.  Meanwhile, the sun has come out so the pizza goes outside to look for his friends.

Hanna’s Comments: I have loved this book since the first time I read it many years ago! While reading, I suggest you frequently ask the question, “Who’s a pizza?” and then wait for your audience’s loud response. After reading this story to young children, I urge you to do your own pretend play of the stages of pizza-making with a volunteer from your audience. You may find yourself pretending to make many pizzas as each listener wants to join in the fun. How does such a silly book offer a faith lesson? It’s really quite simple. Pete’s father is a metaphor for God. I believe God sees our disappointments and lovingly interjects distractions, often in the form of others who love us. If this idea is too abstract for your children, talk about how God is the source of the love Pete’s parents demonstrate here. Loving, godly distractions help us through pain or heartache so that healing can begin. The best of those distractions come in the form of God’s loving humor and eventually, the sun does come out, circumstances change, or healing has brought us to a new place. If you explain this idea well, children will get it, and their perspective on how God loves us will be expanded, which in my view, is always a good thing.    

Publisher & Date of Publication: Scholastic, 1998

Age & Grade Appropriateness: 3 and up, Pre and up

# of Pages: 34

Available in Spanish? Not at present

Formats other than Book: video on Youtube.com

PBT Category: Pre 2K

PBT Topics this Book Connects with: affection, blessings, brokenness, depression/despair/sadness/sorrow, difficulties, disappointment, emotions/feelings, family, fathers, God’s nature, healing/health care, image of God, joy, love, parents/parental love, play, renewal/restoration

Scripture Connections: Oh Lord, you have searched me and known me! (Psalm 139:1); Behold, I am making all things new (Revelation 21:5); If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, the new has come.

Idea(s) for Application: Read this book to a group of young children when teaching them about God’s loving ways particularly when we are disappointed by life’s circumstances.

A Picture Book a Day for a Year: Day 300

Dynamic Duo: Book 2

Picture Book: Where Do Giggles Come From?

Author: Diane Muldrow

Illustrator: Anne Kennedy 

Summary: This fun rhyming book is comprised of a series of animal parents commenting on how they enjoy it when their children giggle. There’s an affectionate declaration: “I love to get your giggle going every single day.” Giggle-evoking situations vary from funny faces to chasing butterflies. At the end, you’ll find a version of the title question and an answer: “From deep inside your belly!”

Hanna’s Comments: This is the 2^nd offering in a PBT Dynamic Duo of Little Golden Books. Look back at yesterday’s offering for details and links to search more Little Golden Book titles for use in ministry or to read to your own children/grandchildren. There is also a fun link to a history of Little Golden Books. This book would be a wonderful way to acknowledge God’s gift of joy (and giggles) with very young children. As you read, simply tell them several times, especially at the end, that God (or use a name for God that you prefer) is the one who created our bodies so that they would be ready to giggle. Add that God loves it when we giggle. If you are in a school or church setting, don’t worry that this book seems to be designed for parents to read. It’s so fun, children won’t notice, and many of these situations you might share with your students.  

Original Publisher & Date of Publication: Random House, 2011 

Age & Grade Appropriateness: 3 and up, Pre and up

# of Pages: 24

Available in Spanish? Not at present

Formats other than Book: Tablet

PBT Category: Post 2K

PBT Topics this Book connects with: action, affection, babies/children, communication, emotions/feelings, gladness/happiness, joy, love, nurturing, parents/parental love, play, pleasing God

Scripture Connections: And Sarah said (regarding the birth of her son), “God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh with me. (Genesis 21:6); a joyful heart is good medicine (Proverbs 17:22); rejoice in the Lord always; again I say rejoice. (Philippians 4:4); count it all joy (James 1:2).

Idea(s) for Application: Read this book to a group of young children while acknowledging God as the source of our laughter and joy.

A Picture Book a Day for a Year: Day 181

 

Picture Book: The Grudge Keeper

Author: Mara Rockliff

Illustrator: Eliza Wheeler

Summary: In Bonnyripple no one ever kept a grudge because they gave all their grudges (written on bits of paper) to the Grudge Keeper, Cornelius, who tucked them away in his cottage for safekeeping. The grudges piled up, but the system seemed to be working until a severe wind storm came. All were irritated by this inconvenience, new grudges emerged, and together they marched their new grudges up to the Grudge Keeper’s cottage. They were astonished to find their former grudges had been blown into a pile. While arguing over the grudges again, they heard Cornelius moaning from underneath the pile. As they hurried to save him, grudges were read, apologies were made, and the grudges were tossed away. When Cornelius staggered to his feet, he saw that all the grudges were gone. Immediately, another grudge-worthy event occurred, but all was forgiven, even a romance blossomed. No one ever kept a grudge again, not even The Grudge Keeper who had a lot more room in his home for entertaining his now more pleasant friends.

Hanna’s Comments: This book is clever in plot and verbal gymnastics, and it comically demonstrates the way grudges can limit relationships, even if those grudges are kept hidden away. The power of forgiveness is the subtle theme here. The importance of and difficulty achieving forgiveness is a valuable lesson to explore with children and adults. This book is so clever that it would work for both types of audiences.

Publisher & Date of Publication: Peachtree Publisher, 2014

Age & Grade Appropriateness: 5 and up, K and up

# of Pages: 32

Available in Spanish? Not at present

Formats other than Book: None at present

PBT Category: Fresh Off the Press

PBT Topics this Book Connects with: acceptance, brokenness, collections, communication, conflict, discord, disputes/fighting/opposition, emotions, feelings, forgiveness/mercy/redemption, friends/friendship, grace, greed/selfishness, humility, intolerance, judgment/judges/judging, mistakes, pacifism/peace/peacemakers, pride, relationships, tolerance

Scripture Connections: Forgive seventy times seven (Matthew 8:21-22); when you pray, forgive if you have anything against anyone (Mark 11:25); the Jesus Prayer (based on Luke 18: 13 & 38); be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving of one another (Ephesians 4:32)

Idea(s) for Application: One aspect of forgiveness is humbly realizing that we are all imperfect sinners. Consider reading this book and then teaching The Jesus Prayer to your participants: “Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” This prayer has been ritually recited since the 5^th century. 

A Picture Book a Day for a Year: Day 138

Picture Book: Rodger’s and Hammerstein’s My Favorite Things

Lyrics: Oscar Hammerstein II 

Music (scores are found as end papers): Richard Rodgers

Illustrator: Renee Graef (top photo); James Warhola (bottom photo)

Summary: These are picture books of the song made famous by the movie, The Sound of Music, sung in Maria's (Julie Andrew’s character) bedroom while the children were afraid of a thunderstorm. It encourages the listing of favorite things when feeling bad.

Hanna’s Comments: I love this song! I’ve never understood why it is considered by some as a Christmas song. The Graef illustrations are of human characters primarily and the Warhola illustrations are of animal characters with no Christmas references. 

Publisher & Date of Publication: Harper Collins, 2005 (top photo);
Simon & Schuster, 1994 (bottom photo)

Age & Grade Appropriateness: 3 and up, Pre and up

# of Pages: 14

Available in Spanish? Not at present

Formats other than Book: Tablet ( For the version illustrated by Renee Graef)

PBT Category: Song Book

PBT Topics this Book Connects with: anxiety/worry, blessings, bravery/courage, choir/music/singing/songs, comfort, confidence, danger, difficulties, emotions/feelings, encouragement, fear, reassurance, safety, self-control, strength/strength in God

Scripture Connections: Be strong and courageous… the Lord is with you (Joshua 1:9)

Idea(s) for Application: I think it is important in our faith communities to talk about our fears and what strategies we use to deal with them. This song offers one strategy that could easily encompass religious ideas such as listing spiritual practices that help you deal with fears. Sharing these kinds of vulnerable moments with children and adults allows us to connect because many of our fears are the same. Also, these kinds of conversations will help us equip one another with important coping mechanisms that are grounded in our faith. 

A Picture Book a Day for a Year: Day 122

Picture Book: The Extraordinary Music of Mr. Ives: The True Story of a Famous American Composer

Author & Illustrator: Joanne Stanbridge

Summary: This picture book is brimming with history, music, and emotion. At the heart of the story is New Yorker, Charles Ives’ inspiration for one of his most famous musical compositions which was written after the devastating sinking of the Lusitania during WWI in 1915. The ship left New York harbor and never returned. The broader story is Mr. Ives’ passion for hearing music in everyday sounds and the elevated status he gave American folk music and hymns. The hymn “In the Sweet Bye-and-Bye” echoes throughout the composition that is central to this picture book. In his lifetime, Mr. Ives never received the recognition he was due, but he is now revered as one of the greatest American composers.  

Hanna’s Comments: The heart of this book is a man whose God-given passion and talented musical ear perceives the beauty and heartbreak in sounds most of us would never attend to. The author implies that Mr. Ives knew his artistic perspective was ahead of its time, but this passion for his art didn’t waiver. This book is an excellent depiction of a city in mourning and a man determined to capture that mourning just as psalmists captured such feelings in their writings of Israel’s devastating losses and confusion.   

Publisher & Date of Publication: Houghton Mifflin, 2012

Age & Grade Appropriateness: 5 and up, K and up

# of Pages: 32

Available in Spanish? Not at present

Formats other than Book: None at present

PBT Category: Non-fiction, Post 2K

PBT Topics this Book Connects with: brokenness, call/calling/vocation, choir/music/singing/songs, community, creativity/imagination/ingenuity, death/loss/grief, depression/despair/sadness/sorrow, dreams/aspirations, emotions/feeling, gifts/giftedness/talents, intercession, lamentations, legacies, listening, mentors/teachers, mission, passion, perseverance, prayer, tragedy, transformation, unity, worship

Scripture Connections: Psalms of lament such as Psalms 44, 60, 74, 79, 80, 85, & 90

Idea(s) for Application: This would be a wonderful book to use in a homeschool/private school or church art camp when studying artistic expressions of painful emotions and events. Ground your instruction in the hope that is available through your Holy Scriptures, particularly dark poetry and stories.

A Picture Book a Day for a Year: Day 19

Picture Book: Lion’s Lunch

Author: Fiona Tierney

Illustrator: Margaret Chamberlain

Summary: Quick-witted Sarah wanders into the jungle happily singing until a lion threatens her. From Lion’s perspective, she is useless. Sarah quickly demonstrates her value by drawing a picture of the lion who is astonished that she portrays him as grumpy. The other animals agree with Sarah’s assessment. Sarah’s drawing convinces Lion to change his attitude, and Sarah becomes a permanent member of the jungle community.

Hanna’s Comments: This somewhat silly book has a great deal to say about how we are sometimes oblivious to our own behavior and how it affects how others view us. Sarah is such a great role model for being creative, smart, frank, and empathetic.

Publisher & Date of Publication: Chicken House, 2010

Age and Grade Appropriateness: 3 and up, Pre and up

# of Pages: 32

Available in Spanish? Yes

Formats other than Book: None at present

PBT Category: Post 2K

PBT Topics this Book Connects with: abilities, aliens/immigrants/refugees/strangers, anger, art, attentiveness/observation/seeing, authenticity, change, choir/music/singing/songs, communication, conflict, conversion, disputes/fighting/opposition, diversity, gifts/giftedness/talents, emotions/feelings, evil, exclusion/inclusion, honesty, immigration, intolerance, non-violence/peaceful resistance, outsiders, pacifism/peace/peaceful/peacemakers/peaceable kingdom, perspective, power, prejudice, regret/repentance, resisting evil, risking, sin, transformation, truth, underdogs, variety, wisdom

Scripture Connections: tax collectors: Matthew (Matthew 9:9-13) or Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10) who changed their ways; Saul on the Road to Damascus (Acts 9:1-22)

Idea(s) for Application: Lion's Lunch would be a great component to a lesson on the importance of self-awareness and how it may lead to transformation or consider reading it in a lesson on peaceful resistance.

A Picture Book for a Day for a Year: Day 8

Picture Book: This Little Light of Mine

Illustrator: E.B. Lewis

Summary: This beautifully illustrated version of the African-American spiritual has a young boy looking in the mirror and then interacting with neighbors in delightful and helpful ways including offering comfort to a boy who is upset and then inviting him to play basketball.

Hanna’s Comments: There are several other books of this song, some with an audio component, some combined with other songs. I found a board book version that I like for young children by Mcnicholas. For children 4 and up, I especially like these illustrations. The score is in the back.

Publisher & Date of Publication: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers, 2005

Age and Grade Appropriateness: 4 and up, Preschool and up

# of Pages: 32

Available in Spanish? Not at present

Formats other than Book: None at present

PBT Category: Song Book

PBT Topics this Book connects with: abilities, action, adoration, authenticity, bravery/courage, choir/music/singing/songs, communication, community, confidence, darkness/evening/night, emotions/feelings, encouragement, generosity/giving/offering/stewardship, gifts/giftedness/talents, gladness/happiness, goodness, gospel/good news, helping, hospitality, image of God, intercession, joy, kindness, kingdom of god, leadership/servant leadership, light/morning, neighbors, neighborhood, openness, outreach, participation, passion, pleasing God/the Shema, power, presence, reflection (self), response to God, righteousness, risking, satisfaction, social justice

Scripture Connections: the Lord is my light & my salvation (Psalm 27:1), a lamp under a jar (Luke 8:16), a city on a hill (Matthew 5:14-16)

Idea(s) for Application: a children’s music class