Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts

Friday, August 12, 2022

Listening as an Act of Love

A few weeks ago, I posted a book about listening to godly sounds. Violinist Joshua Bell playing in a subway was the story in that post. Check it out HERE. Today’s listening is about perhaps the most holy kind of listening we humans can do... listening to a family member, friend, or even a stranger who is hurting. This is the best book I know about that holy practice. Like other excellent picture books, it is rich with tender meaning and encompasses all kinds of humanity, including humor, in its clever images and words.

Picture Book: The Rabbit Listened

Author & Illustrator: Cori Doerrfeld 

Summary: Taylor, a young child, begins to build “something amazing.” This wise author doesn’t use pronouns so Taylor can be whoever you want. Disaster strikes and all blocks fall! Taylor does too.

A series of animals comes to help Taylor cope. There’s a chicken that talks too much, an angry bear that wants to yell on Taylor’s behalf, and an elephant who wants to help Taylor remember. The ostrich’s strategy is predictable! The snake’s suggestion made me ssssmile.


“But Taylor didn’t feel like doing anything with anybody.” Yay, Taylor for knowing that! Once finally alone and in the quiet, Taylor is quietly joined by a rabbit. We don’t know if they are friends. Does it matter? After the silence, Taylor asks the rabbit to stay. Then the rabbit listens and listens and listens. Now that Taylor is ready, some of the responses that were suggested earlier now feel just right. Taylor vents, blames, and remembers. Again, “When the time was right,” Taylor details plans to build again. The rabbit listens some more as Taylor dreams of an even more amazing build next time.

Hanna’s Comments: Did you think of yourself as you heard my quick summary? I hope so! Did you think of others who have tried to help you, but the timing or remedy wasn’t right? They didn’t come in quiet, did they? Long ago, I remember hearing Krista Tippett on the On Being podcast interview Parker Palmer about a terrible bout of depression during which he was in the bed for days, maybe weeks. A friend came regularly to give him a silent foot rub. Wow! What love! What empathy! What a godly neighbor!

Original Publisher: Dial Books, 2018

Age Appropriateness: 3 and up

Formats other than Book: Audio & tablet

Scripture Connections: Any scripture about God being a comforter and listener. So many! The great commandment: Love your neighbor as yourself! Any Jesus story where his first response is to listen. Ruth and Naomi, because they were present for each other through a difficult series of tragedies and a long, dangerous journey! I bet they took turns listening. Why don’t we talk about their journey more?

Connections to The Revised Common Lectionary: I have listed this book for 4 lessons in my 3-year RCL-based Trinity Treasures preschool curriculum. Those 4 lesson themes are: The Trinity: Our Helpers, God Hears Cries, God’s Mothering Love, and Ruth & Naomi.

PBT Applications: Read this book to a group of young parents or teens. Then talk about the power of being present to (and not immediately fixing) another’s pain. Then you LISTEN as they tell stories of listening, not listening, and not being heard. Together vow to do better because it is a godly practice, good for all of us. 

One more thing: (forgive me) I know a few pastors who could use this book. There's a gift idea! 


If you are interested in learning more about my Trinity Treasures, a scripture based preschool Sunday school curriculum that features picture books & children’s Bibles, contact me at hannaschock@bellsouth.netRight now, free lessons are emailed if you agree to fill out the monthly feedback form.

Friday, March 11, 2022

Alexander's Bad Day Buddies

Wise authors are looking back at classic children's literature and realizing their value. Below I have for you 3 recently published books with plots and themes very similar to Judith Viorst's 1972 classic Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Don't know Alexander? Here's my PBT post about this classic! 

The healthy messages of these books are particularly important during this global pandemic! Acknowledging our feelings (confusion, anger, grief, sadness...) at home, school, and in religious settings will lead to better mental health for everyone. Here's a PBT post about that. It addresses the social-emotional needs of very young children via a theological statement that can be inserted into a secular book about feelings, BUT many books I feature there work for older children as well.

Also, I want you to know about 2 other books here if you only want to talk about sadness. Perhaps your congregation is grieving a loss or significant change. Click on titles to read posts about these very different PBT books: 

The Blue Day Book for Kids


When Sadness is at Your Door


Now back to Alexander's literary influence... 
Below find some information about how the 3 new books photographed above are different from Viorst's classic. In general, there is less text in all 3 books so they are quicker reads. From the covers, you'll see the diversity they offer. At the bottom, I give a few ideas about how these books tie to scripture and might be used in ministry.

Picture Book: Keep Your Head UP

Author: Aliya King Neil

Illustrator: Charly Palmer

Summary: This beautiful book is quite similar to Alexander, but it has the wisdom of some modern psychology. D. is a little older, a tween or young teen. D. reminds himself that "Any day can be good if you try." And he does try, but the frustrations of home and school pile on him. When D. has a "meltdown," he is sent to the principal's office, where he is greeted by Miss King, who has been helping him. Her role is unclear, likely a school counselor or school psychologist. D.'s family is also helpful. They set reasonable limits, talk openly about his feelings, and encourage him to "Keep his head up." When he doesn't want to, D. knows he can at least try.

Hanna’s Comments: In addition to the very real details and modern school setting, loving home, and non-white characters, what I like most about this book is the way D. is perceptive about his feelings and specific about their effects. He says he feels scrunchy and describes his face changes (scrunchy eyebrows). He even describes a meltdown! (see image above) There is some great information for discussion here! Do tell your audience that we can't always be expected to keep trying to feel better. Sometime we have to accept our feelings while maintaining control of our behavior. Offering ideas of "loving our neighbors" is important to add here.

Original Publisher: Simon & Schuster, 2021

Age Appropriateness: 5 and up

Formats other than Book: Tablet

 

Picture Book: Benji, the Bad Day, and Me

Author: Sally J. Pla

Illustrator: Ken Min

Summary: Here the most significant and welcome difference from Viorst's classic is that the main character is an older brother to a child on the autism spectrum. This difference offers opportunities to talk about the importance of empathy, prioritizing people's needs, and concepts of fairness & justice. Although the older brother's  day has gone terribly, his mother is very focused on her younger child's significant needs. It is the younger brother who finally offers comfort to the main character. Then mom, who no doubt needs comfort too,  joins in, and the story ends beautifully.

Hanna’s Comments: It is the younger brother who is named Benji. This is confusing. Benji is a pivotal but mostly peripheral character. The older brother, who is telling the story, is Samuel. I suggest giving their names when showing the cover before reading. Whenever I find myself occupied with trying to figure out who is who, I am not able to focus on a story. 

Original Publisher: Lee & Low, 2018

Age Appropriateness: 5 and up

Formats other than Book: None at present 



Picture Book: Kevin the Unicorn: It’s Not All Rainbows

Author/Illustrator: Jessica von Innerebner

Summary: Alexander and Kevin's worlds are about as different as they can be! Kevin is expected to be perfect and everyday is expected to be sparkly - "filled with MAGICAL AWESOMENESS!" But Kevin, like Alexander, D. and Samuel, is having a bad day. Although he tries to be joyful, the constant barrage of positive messages in Kevin's world only confuse him. Eventually, he can no longer hide his feelings. His declaration invites others to be more honest about the bad day they are having. Kevin is not alone in his feelings. Such connections are crucial to humans and even unicorns, I suspect!

Hanna’s Comments: I must admit, this cover and title turned me off. But then I read the story! What wisdom there is between the lines of this silly and saccharine book! As an Enneagram 7, it is a story I needed. You have children who need to hear that it is acceptable and inevitable to be imperfect and upset, and to have a bad day. This book is full of funny word play. Read it with drama and silliness. But before reading, invite your audience to notice minor characters and consider how their days are going. Turn pages slowly so they can comprehend detail. 

Given the color palate, I hope you won't assume this is a book for girls only. The main character is named Keven, after all. At present, there is another book about Kevin the Unicorn: Why Can’t We Be Bestie-Corns?

Original Publisher: Dial Books, 2019

Age Appropriateness: 4 and up

Formats other than Book: Tablet

Scripture Connections for these 3 books: Any scripture that involves Lamentation or Complaint to God connects to these books.

OR Bible stories about characters that are suffering, such as Job, can be particularly powerful. Try not to get into why bad things happen. 

OR Get into the details of The Great Commandment. What does it means to love yourself AND love your neighbor when you are having a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day?

PBT Applications: Read any of these books to dive into what lament looks like. Legitimize it as an important kind of prayer. Talk about how there is a whole book in the Bible named Lamentations and how many of the Psalms include  complaints to God. More importantly, emphasize that God and those who love us most, want to know our real feelings. They can handle our negative feelings and can likely help us understand or move through them better. Sometimes just saying, "I am having a bad day!" is enough to help us feel better!

Friday, March 1, 2019

Favorite Posts #8 - Books for Lent & Easter

As we approach Lent and Easter, I thought seeing this post would be particularly helpful. In my next post, I’ll add to these lists of PBT books, giving you links to more PBT books about Lent and Easter that I’ve featured more recently. 
For those of us who are liturgical Christians, Ash Wednesday is upon us. This solemn day begins the season of Lent, a period of 40 days (not counting Sundays) that symbolically represents Christ’s 40 days in the wilderness. This season guides us through Holy Week in preparation for Easter. 
At PBT, I’ve offered many picture books that you might want to choose to read during this season to help children connect in new ways to the concepts we consider and the events we remember during Lent and Easter. I’ve listed them below with a guiding connection that will help you tie the Biblical concepts/stories to the content of the picture book. 
These books are not meant to be perfect reflections of the Biblical concepts/stories. Instead they are offered as tools to encourage conversation, exploration, and application. For each, enjoy the secular story then let it lead you to more meaningful consideration of theological or spiritual possibilities. I’ve listed the book titles which serve as links to the PBT post. Books for the youngest audiences are listed first.
Lent (in general)
Lent is a time for remembering that Jesus fasted and prayed in the wilderness for 40 days and found clarity and strength to resist temptation. Therefore, during Lent we focus on intentional prayer, fasting, and service. Fasting is viewed generally as refraining from something (not just food) that distracts you from God. With a sense of repentance (returning to God), we re-focus our lives to be more like Jesus.
Make connections with these stories and the concept of refraining from distractions or temptations in order to live more generously, like Jesus:
Strega Nona                                             
A Chair for My Mother                          
Extra Yarn                                                
My Mouth is a Volcano                         

These are great books about prayer:
Does God Hear My Prayer?                 

Ash Wednesday
In an Ash Wednesday worship service, the sign of the cross is made with ashes in order to recognize our mortality so that we may humbly begin Lent committed to make changes and determined to be more like Jesus.

These stories connect well with the concept of humility:
Bear Has a Story to Tell                        
The Three Questions                               
Albert                                                         
Those Shoes                                              

Palm Sunday
Palm Sunday is a celebration of the hope that Jesus brings and an offering of the praise that he deserves. Here I’m offering books about both of these concepts: hope and praise.
Tie these concepts to the story of Jesus’ entrance into Jerusalem.
    About Hope:
Hope is an Open Heart                          
If You Want to See a Whale                  
And Then It’s Spring                              
A Child’s Garden                                     
We Shall Overcome                                
Hope Springs                                           
About Praise:
I Will Rejoice                                            
Let’s Make a Joyful Noise                   
All God’s Critters                                     
The Hallelujah Flight                             

Jesus’s Anger at the Money Changers
Children need clarification when it comes to how to deal with their anger. When Jesus sees the money changers whose greed is spoiling the purposes of the Temple, he gets violently angry.
Here’s the best story I know for children about anger:
When Sophie Gets Angry…                     

The Upper Room (Maundy Thursday)
The story of Jesus in the Upper Room with his disciples is a foundational story in the Christian faith. You have the first communion (the elements and a call to remember) and Jesus washing his disciples’ feet (a call to service).
Delve into the components of the Upper Room story with these books: 
Hands Say Love                                        
Bread Comes to Life                                 
The Memory String                                  
Washing the Willow Loon                       

The Garden of Gethsemane
The focus on this event is usually Jesus’ prayer, but here I offer a book about what Jesus’ disciples did not do for him in the garden.
This is the best book I know about being with friends when they are suffering and doing what they need you to do:
A Sick Day for Amos McGee                   

Peter Denies Knowing Jesus
This story is about Peter’s deceit and shame.
Here I offer a delightful picture book about being shamed and lying about who you are:
Unlovable                                                    


Golgotha
Connect these picture books with the story of Jesus on the cross.
These books are either about the concepts of sacrifice, giving, forgiveness or death:
One Winter’s Day                                      
The Friend                                                   
Stone Soup                                                   
Badger’s Parting Gifts                              
The Grudge Keeper                                    
Our Tree Named Steve                              
The Goodbye Boat                                      
The Giving Tree                                          

Easter
The pivotal event of the Christian faith is a celebration of joy, beauty, and possibility.
These wonderful feelings can easily be connected to these picture books:
AnnaHibiscus Song                                  
MorningHas Broken                                
WinterMoon Song                                     
YesDay!                                                        
Waitingfor Wings                                      
Whata Wonderful World                         
TheGardener                                               

Friday, November 23, 2018

PBT Theme List: Peace

Today is Black Friday in the States, a day of Christmas shopping in excess. I woke up to headlines that there was a shooting last night in a mall walking distance from my home. When did the shootings become so ordinary?! Lord have mercy on us all! Forgive our violence and help us with our fears. 
Perhaps you too are in search of peace as we anticipate Advent and The birth of the Prince of Peace. Here is a nice variety of 6 secular books about peace. Scripture connections and ideas for applications in your ministry are at the end of the post. 


Picture Book: A Little Peace
Author & Photographer: Barbara Kerley
Summary: This is a collection of photographs of people from various parts of the globe who are enjoying “a little peace.” Images of peace range widely from two English men in the snow tipping their hats to one another to a group of whirling Buddhist monks worshiping in Bhutan and then to an American military doctor cuddling a child who had been caught up in a battle. In the back you’ll find a world map and an explanation of each photo including details and location. The book ends with a note by Richard H. Solomon, President of the United States Institute of Peace.   
Publisher & Date of Publication: National Geographic, 2007
Age & Grade Appropriateness: 5 and up, K and up
Formats other than Book: None at present 


Picture Book: The Peace Book
Author & Illustrator: Todd Parr
Hanna’s Comments: For thoughts about peace with elementary or preschool children, consider Todd Parr's fun exploration of what peace looks like. 
He also offers a global and even ecological perspective, often with a bit of humor and some meaningful situations for young children. His books often connect directly to scripture, sometimes with a little twist. Peaceful acts can lead to life-long aspirations for world change. Parr finds peace in simple, fun gestures and big, hard work. His characters are sometimes surprising, often human and animal, but very relatable. Your children will love his whimsy and his heart. As usual, Parr ends this book with a letter to his readers.
Original Publisher & Date: Little, Brown & Co., 2004
Age & Grade Appropriateness: 4 and up, Pre and up
Formats other than Book: Tablet

Picture Book: Peace, Baby!
Author: Linda Ashman
Illustrator: Joanne Lew-Vriethoff
Summary: Conflict resolution in verse is the appeal of this delightful picture book. Here young children’s situations of conflict in the home or classroom are used to illustrate more peaceful alternatives than verbal or physical aggression. With each offering is the suggestion to try or say, “Peace Baby.” Eventually the arenas of peacemaking broaden to interactions with all sorts: parents, teachers, strangers, and all of creation.
Hanna’s Comments: This is a fun, clever book aimed at reducing conflict among young children by giving them conflict resolution and peacemaking strategies along with a new, fun phrase. Being able to deal with strong feelings is a crucial skill that will benefit everyone in your religious community.   
Publisher & Date of Publication: Chronicle Books, 2013
Age & Grade Appropriateness: 3 and up, Pre and up
Formats other than Book: Tablet 

Picture Book: Let There Be Peace on Earth                                                            and Let It Begin with Me
Authors: Jill Jackson & Sy Miller
Illustrator: David Diaz
Summary: This picture book’s text is a song familiar to many. Written in 1955, it has been recorded by many famous singers. It is a clarion call for world peace as well as interpersonal peace. Besides the song lyrics, you’ll find an audio CD which includes 11 other songs by these writers. The illustrations feature international symbols of peace which are explained in the back of the book. Other features include historical aspects of the song and its writers as well as the musical score.
Hanna’s Comments: If you are bothered by the masculine terminology, particularly “With God as our Father, brothers all are we.” Adapt to “With God, our creator, children all are we.” For “Let me walk with my brother,” change to “Let us walk with each other.” Use sticky notes to replace the words on the pages. Simply explain to your audience that the meaning and use of language changes sometimes and give your reasons for making the changes.
Publisher & Date of Publication: Tricycle Press, 2009
Age & Grade Appropriateness: 5 and up, K and up
Formats other than Book: None at Present, On the internet, there are many videos of this song being performed.

Picture Book: Peace is an Offering
Author: Annette LeBox
Illustrator: Stepanie Graegin 
Summary: These simple rhyming phrases explore the concept of peace via ordinary, loving gestures in a neighborhood, the place where young children would most understand peace. Generous acts like visiting and serving someone in need and enjoying God's gifts of nature with friends all instruct young children to notice how peace is abundant. This book explains in simple terms that gratitude and contemplation are important tools for peace, as is affection and being at table together. This diverse community of children (and sometimes their parents) are shown engaging in thoughtful acts, companionship rituals, hospitality, play, and even strategic avoidance of violence. You’ll find a reference to 9/11/01, but it is subtle and isn’t likely to be disturbing to young children. Hope and joy are interwoven in this text and the images are comforting. 
Hanna’s Comments: These are fear-ridden times. Sometimes the loudest messages of fear come from faith families and are overheard by children. Instead, I believe the place where children first worship and learn about God should be grounded in peace and love. We have many children riddled with anxiety. Their worship communities can address some of their fears and offer God's hope instead. The key to this heartwarming book are messages of abundance and calls to be sensitive to another’s needs while contemplating with gratitude the beauty of our world. Here be reminded that when loving acts occur, peace can be found. Opportunities for such acts are everywhere, especially in your neighborhood, but also with those you love most, like those in your faith family.
Original Publisher & Date: Dial, 2015
Age & Grade Appropriateness: 3 and up, Pre and up
Formats other than Book: Tablet

Picture Book: Growing Peace: A Story of Farming,                                               Music, and Religious Harmony
Author and Photojournalist: Richard Sobol
Summary: This story begins and ends in Africa in the village of Namanyonyi, near the border of Uganda and Kenya. Namanyonyi is unusual. In this small Ugandan village live Christians, Jews, and Muslims. They live in harmony, but they used to live more separately. Here you see children from each religion enjoying futbol. (The hats identify the boy in the middle as Jewish and the boy on the right as Muslim. Since one villager's witnessing of 9/11, they live more cooperatively and productively. J. J. Keki, a musician and coffee grower, happened to be in New York City on his way to The World Trade Center on 9/11. He emerged from the subway station in time to see one of the planes hit a tower. His life, like so many others, would never be the same. He came home and realized his village offered a perfect opportunity to model interfaith cooperation. Most families have a garden for food but also grow coffee for export. (They prefer to drink tea.) Through contacts made in his village via his children's many friends, Mr. Keki met with village farmers of all 3 religions: Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. Together they created a farming cooperative so that they can import their coffee at a better price and highlight their cooperation despite their village's religious diversity.  On the sign below find the word "Kawomera." It means "delicious." The Delicious Peace Growers Coop was born and has transformed this community! A model of interfaith cooperation was been born thanks to one man's determination to counteract religious hatred! J. J. Keki has even written songs celebrating the extraordinary peace and joy that his village now experiences. Besides a detailed account of this story, you'll find the process of growing coffee beans. Children and adults are photographed demonstrating the steps: the harvesting of coffee cherries, the drying of their seeds, the shaking to remove skins, the bagging, and the transporting to a Kenyan sea port. Growing Peace offers a wide but pragmatic perspective on peacemaking, integrated with economic cooperation. 
Hard work is celebrated here as well as the joy of living in the diversity that God ordains through nature and humanity.
Hanna’s Comments: There is so much text in this book that I highly recommend reading it over a couple of sessions or telling (rather than reading) this powerful story while showing the photographs. Find in the back an Author's Note and lots of resources including a glossary which will help with pronunciation. The music behind this story is available [here] and you can purchase the fair trade Delicious Peace Coffee [here]
Check out other PBT books about Africans' responses to September 11, 2001 [here] and [here].
Original Publisher & Date: Lee & Low, 2016
Age & Grade Appropriateness: 7 and up, 2nd and up
Formats other than Book: This story is told in a feature-length video available at [Youtube]

Scripture Connections For All These Books: For unto us a child is born… his name shall be called… Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6); Peaceable Kingdom (Isaiah 11:6); Those who plan peace have joy (Proverbs 12:20); Two are better than one, because they have good reward for their toil. If they fall, one will lift up the other. (Ecclesiastes 4:9); Blessed are the peacemakers (Matthew 5:9); Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace among those with whom he is pleased! (Luke 2:14); Give and it will be given to you (Luke 6:38); I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. (John 16:33); ...live peaceably with all. (Romans 12:11); may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing (Romans 15:13); the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:12); Now may the lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. (2 Thessalonians 3:16); Strive for peace with everyone (Hebrews 12:14); Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above (James 1:17); ...seek peace and pursue it.(1 Peter: 3:11)
Idea(s) for Application For All These Books: For a discussion within your faith family, talk about the confusing concept of “peace.” It will help ground them in rich meaning, even if they exit the conversation without being able to verbalize an exact definition of peace. Also, explore what peace looks like in community, school, home, or your faith family. Read Peace, Baby! in a religious childcare center along with a lesson on God’s desire for us to live peacefully. After reading Let There Be Peace on Earth, consider singing it as well then talk about conflict and reconciliation. Read Growing Peace to a group of older children or adults and consider how scripture encourages cooperative community, even across religious traditions.